The Pathfinder´s Route x

Plotting the field for the unfolding of a possible identity around the year 2000…

The Pathfinder´s Route x takes its point of departure in the physical and mental space at Blaagaard Teachers Training College in Gladsaxe. The decoration confirms and reflects on the teachers training college as an educational institution and the space where educational theory and practice are in focus. The history of educational theory exhibits a multiplicity of views on human nature, man´s understanding of himself, the individual as the centre of the universe and in relation to the others. The work shows us the outer boundaries for our self-understanding and seeks to map a possible development of identity.

The Pathfinder´s Route x consists of two axes of transparent pictures incorporated in glass as fixed reflections – in contrast to the many fugitive reflections in the space. A south-north axis is made up of three large glass friezes: Girl Playing Hopscotch in a Solar System, Girl Recollecting and Girl Testing the Law of Gravity. An east-west axis consists of five small glass friezes treating definitions and delimitations of human space. The pictures are placed in layers, so that the normal central perspective of the photograph is no longer to be found and the viewer is thrown to and fro among possible viewing points. The pictures are lit up from behind, as if they were negatives or X-rays placed as points in a coordinate system seen from above.

The coordinate system is inspired by the architectonic structure of the entrance hall, which has been conceived by the architect as a kind of square connecting all parts of the building and functioning as main entrance, passageway and space to hang out in. It is the college´s most important space and signals the identity of the institution, which thus becomes part of the decoration.

Identity: (from Lat. idem, the same) 1. Strict logical or numerical identity is the relation every object has to itself and not to any other object. The relation of identity is the only logical relation,and its formal properties are determined by the following principles: (1) (x) (x=x) (reflexivity); (2) (x)(y) ((x=y) > (y=x)) (symmetry); (3) (x)(y)(z) (((x=y)&(y=z)) > (x=z)) (transitivity); (4) (x)(y) (((x=y) & (Fx) > (Fy)) (principle of substitution, Leibniz´s law). 2) qualitative identity (equality in relevant respects) is the relation between different objects of the same kind. 3) dialectical identity or identity and difference (Ger. Identitát/Differenz), according to which i. is characterised by being sth. that connects sth. different. Here it is a matter of an i. that emphasises the difference within which there is a connection. The concept of identity becomes apparent by the observation of, e.g., dialectical self-identity in a strict sense. Such d.s.-i. requires an inner differentiation. Ê I can relate to myself inasmuch as I am different from myself and can step out of myself. The life-course of a human being consists of different moments. Here an actual i. with oneself means that these differences are held together in one life. This is a matter of an i. of differences or a connection among the different moments. The different moments are connected in that the individual relates to him/herself. The self is the organ that holds them together. But conversely the self-identity is unfolded or realised only through differentiation, the ongoing formation of differences. Ê

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Psychic kymogram, no

(plotting  the field for the unfolding of a possible identity around the year 2000…) (inner text structure p. ).

t h e   s t r u c t u r e   o f   l i f e . . . t h e   c o n t o u r    o f   t h e   d a i l y   r o u n d . . . t h i s   s i l e n t   c o n t i n u i t y . . . a s   i f    s h e   w a s   o n l y   a   w r e t c h e d   s i e v e   d a i l y   l i f e   r a n    t h r o u g h . . . t h e   r i t u a l i s a t i o n   o f   l o n e l i n e s s . . . a   m a  t e r i a l i s e d    l i f e . . . w i t h o u t   l i g h t   a n d    s h a d o w . . . b u t   w i t h   t v   a n d    t h e   i n t e r n e t . . . a   p a s s i o n a t e    d e s i r e . . . l i v e d   t h r o u g h   o t h e r s . . . a p p a r e n t l y . . . t h e   p e r f e c t   l i f e . . . c u t   t o   m e a s u r e . . . a n d   i n   a n d   f r o m . . . a t   t h e   p l a s t i c    s u r g e o n ‘ s . . . a n d   t h e   a m o u n t . . . a   c u l t u r e d  l i f e . . . n a t u r a l l y . . . w e    w o r k   t h e   w h o l e   t i m e    w i t h   o u r   i m a g e   o f   o u r s e l v e s . . . i n   t h e   r e l a t i o n :   t h e   o t h e r s . . . n o t h i n g   i s   w h a t    i t   p r e t e n d s   t o   b e . . . a r e    w e   o n l y   r e f l e c t i o n s   f o r    e a c h   o t h e r ?   h e   a s k s . . . s h e   s a y s :   y o u   a r e   p e r m a n e n t l y   o u t   t h e r e   w h e r e   t h e   o t h e r s   o n l y   c o m e    w h e n   t h e y   a r e   s u f f e r i n g    f r o m   t h e   p a n g s   o f   l o v e . . . Y o u   s u f f e r   f r o m   a n    e t e r n a l   i d e n t i t y   c r i s i s ,    t h e   f e e l i n g   o f   n o t    b e l o n g i n g   a n y w h e r e . . . t h a t ‘ s   i t :   t h e   e x p r e s s i o n   o f   t o t a l   a n o n y m i t y . . . i n   t h e i r   r e s e r v a t i o n   m y   s i l ence is your  a f f a i r . . . I    h a v e   s e e n   y o u !   s h e    s h o u t s . . . o h ,   I   d o n ‘ t   r e m e m b e r . . . I   r e m e m b e r   n o t h i n g ,   I    h a v e   n o   f e e l i n g s ,   n o    p a i n ,   n o   s u b j e c t i o n ,   n o t h i n g . . . n e i t h e r   l o n e l i n e s s   n o r    c o m m u n i t y . . . o n l y   a   b a l a n c i n g    a c t   o n   t h e   e d g e   o f    c i v i l i s a t i o n . . . i t   i s   s o    u n i q u e l y   a   m a t t e r   o f    c h a n c e   t h a t   w e   a r e    h e r e . . . w o r k   y o u r s e l f   a w a y    a n d   w o r k   y o u r s e l f   i n t o    b e i n g ,   s h e   s a y s . . . I   w a n t    t o   k n o w   a   c o n s u m m a t e d    m e e t i n g . . . y o u   a r e   q u i t e    s u p e r f l u o u s ,   h e   s a y s . . . I ‘ m    o k a y :   s h e   m a i n t a i n s . . . a s    i f   w h a t   s h e   w a s   s i l e n t   a b o u t   w e r e   n o t   w h a t    m e a n t   t h e   v e r y   m o s t . . . I    w a n t   t o   f u c k   y o u r   h e a r t ;   h e   s a y s . . . g r a i n s   o f    a   p i c t u r e . . . r a s t e r . . . t h e   s t r u c t u r e   o f   e v e r y d a y   l i f e . . . m a y b e    t h e   f u n c t i o n   o f   a r t    i s   t o   r e m i n d   u s   w h o    w e   a r e . . .  z o m b i e s . . . i n   a    s y n t h e t i c   t i m e ? . . . w h i t e   l i l i e s   s t u c k   i n   t h e   s n o w . . .    t h e   p a i n   c o n t i n u e s   t o    b e   t h e   m o s t   c e n t r a l    t h i n g   i n   m y   l i f e . . . I    l o v e d   h i m   s o   m u c h   I    w a s   a l m o s t   d i e d   o f    i t . . . t h e   f a c e   b e c o m e s   v i s i b l e   o n l y   i n   t h e   b o r r o w e d   m i r r o r . . . o n l y   a   m o m e n t . . . s h e    s a w   h e r s e l f   a s   a   m a d w o m a n ,   l i g h t l y   m a s k e d   a s    a   r a t i o n a l   b e i n g . . . t h e r e    w e r e   l o t s   o f   t h i n g s    I   o u g h t   t o   d o ,   b u t    I   g a v e   u p   h e l p l e s s l y    a n d   t r i e d   t o   s l e e p    f r o m   i t   a l l . . . h e a v y   g r e y . . . a f t e r n o o n . . . d o   y o u   f e e l   l i k e   a   c u p   o f   t e a ?   s h e    a s k s . . . t h e s e   g i r l s   w e r e    h a p p y .   T h e y   w e r e   b r o u g h t    u p   t o   b e   h a p p y ,   a t    a n y   p r i c e .   B u t   p r e c i s e l y    b e c a u s e   o f   t h e i r   s e c u r e    u p b r i n g i n g   t h e y   w o u l d   n e v e r   e x p e r i e n c e   t r u e   h a p p i n e s s .    I t ‘ s   h a r d   t o   s a y  which     s h e   c a m e   h o m e   i n    t h e   e a r l y   m o r n i n g . . . I   s u d d e n l y   d o n ‘ t   k n o w   w h a t   I    h a v e   a v o i d e d   t e l l i n g   y o u    a n d   w h a t   I   h a v e   t o l d   y o u   a b o u t . . . c o l d – b l o o d e d l y   h e   h i t   h e r   i n   t h e   f a c e . . . o n   c e r t a i n   p a r t s   o f   t h e   b o d y . . . W e   c o u l d   n o   l o n g e r   a p p r o a c h   o n e   a n o t h e r    w i t h o u t   b e i n g   f r i g h t e n e d . . . w i t h o u t   t r e m b l i n g .   T h e   m a d n e s s    c o n t i n u e d . . . l a t e r   i t   b e came   : a love story . ..we   t a l k e d   d e s p e r a t e    t o   a v o i d   w o r d s   t h a t    m i g h t   s t a r t   a   c o n v e r s a t i o n . . . I   d o n ‘ t   k n o w   y o u . . . I    k n o w   y o u   w e l l . . . e v a s i v e    e y e s . . . d i s a r m i n g . . . m o m e n t s . . . w h e r e    a l l   i s   f l u x ,   w h e r e    e v e r y t h i n g   a p p e a r s   p o s s i b l e . . . a n d . . . i s   f a r   f r o m   m a k i n g    s e n s e . . . f e a r   o f   b e i n g   t o u c h e d ?   h e   w h i s p e r s . . . t h e   e y e s    o f   o t h e r s . . . v i s i o n s   a n d    p e r s p e c t i v e s . . . s h e   c a n n o t   a v o i d   h e r   l i f e . . . r e a l i s e . . . o n e   m u s t   o p e n   t o   t h e   u n k n o w n ,    s o   t h a t   t h i s   u n k n o w n    c a n   e n t e r   a n d   d i s t u r b . . . a b a n d o n m e n t ,   n o . . . t h e r e   a r e   t i m e s   w h e n   o n e   i s   n o t    i n   c o n t r o l . . . w h e n   t h e   c i v i l i a n   g a r b   i s   r i p p e d   o f f . . . a n d   o n e   f i n d s   o n e s e l f . . . c a p t u r e d . . . c o n f i n e d . . . i n   a   f a r   t o o   n a r r o w   s h e a t h . . . b a l a n c i n g   o n    a   l i n e   w o r n   t h i n   b e t w e e n   c r e a t i o n   a n d   a n n i h i l a t i o n . . . w i t h o u t   a   s a f e t y   n e t    o r   t v ,   o f   c o u r s e . . . f i r s t    l i f e   c o m e s   w i t h   b i r t h . . . t h e n   t h e   o r g i a s m s   a n d   o r g a s m s ,   l a t e r   m o r e   b i r t h s   a n d   f i n a l l y   d e a t h   d e p a r t s    w i t h   l i f e . . . i n   a n d   o u t    a n d   o u t   a n d   i n . . . a n d    i n b e t w e e n ? . . . s h e   s c r e a m s . . . i n    t h e   r h y t h m . . . f r o m   b r e a t h i n g    e x e r c i s e . . . t o   d e e p   b r e a t h i n g . . . h e   s E e s t h e a n i m a l . . . o n  a n  e x p e d i t i o n t o t h e e n d o f t h e w o r l d . . . w a r m a n d w e t . . . r e d , y e l l o w a n d b r o w n . . . t h e w o r l d h a s g o n e i n t o h e r . . . i n a f l i c k e r i n g p a i n o f l i g h t . . . o r d a r k . . . i s i t w h a t i s . . . i t ? . . . m e r e l y c h e m i c a l f l u i d s a n d s c i e n t i f i c c o r r e l a t e s ? . . . t h e b l u e a b y s s i n y o u r e y e s i s d o n a t e d . . . t h e s e i s m o g r a m o f l i f e , r e g i s t e r e d f o o d f o r w o r m s . . . I w a n t t o r e u s e y o u r p r i c k a f t e r i t h a s b e e n f o r s t o r a g e ; s h e w h i s p e r s c l o s e . . . . . . r a n d o m l y u n i q u e ; w e a r e h e r e . . . b e h i n d u s / b e f o r e u s . . . y e s , o n t h e h o r i z o n . . . i s . . . t h e s u m o f d i s t a n t v o i c e s . . . a n d i n t h e c h i l d ‘ s e x p e c t a t i o n , s h e i s f o u n d . . . i n s h o r t g l i m p s e s . . . b e t w e e n . . . b e f o r e a n d a f t e r . . . b l a c k a n d w h i t e . . . b e n e a t h t h e r i b s a n d a b o v e o c e a n s o f c l e a n w a s h i n g a n d c h i l d r e n ‘ s d i r t y t o e s . . . i n t h e m i d s t o f . . . h a p p i n e s s a p p r o a c h e s . . . f r e e l y . . . f l o a t i n g . . . r e g i s t e r i n g t h e s p a c e . . . a s i n a s o a p b u b b l e . . . i n t h e c h i l d I b u r n m y i m a g e . . . h u r r i e d l y . . . d u s k . . . t h e s o a p b u b b l e c o l l e c t o r o u t h u n t i n g . . . s h e s a y s : m o t h e r r e p r e s e n t s m a d n e s s . S h e i s a n d w i l l a l w a y s b e t h e s t r a n g e s t , t h e c l o s e s t a n d t h e m a d d e s t p e r s o n o n e h a s e v e r m e t . . . o n e ; w e h e r c h i l d r e n . . . . . . T h e e x t e r i o r o f t h e h o m e , t h e i n n e r o r d e r o f t h e h o m e . T h e e x t e r i o r o r d e r ; t h e v i s i b l e a r r a n g e m e n t o f t h e h o m e , a n d t h e i n n e r o r d e r ; o f t h e t h o u g h t s , t h e e m o t i o n a l s t e p s , t h e e t e r n i t i e s o f t h e   f e e l i n g s    f o r   c h i l d r e n . . . n o b o d y   e x h i b i t s   t h e i r   i n n e r m o s t   s o u l   t o    v i e w   u n p u n i s h e d . . . t h e   d o l l ‘ s    h o u s e !   T h e   h i s t o r y   o f    m y   l i f e   d o e s   n o t   e x i s t .   I t   d o e s  n o t   e x i s t .    T h  e  re   i  s   n e v e r    a   m i d p o i n t .   N o   w a y ,    n o   l i n e .   T h e r e   a r e    s o m e  b i g   a r e a s   w h e r e   o n e   p r e t e n d s   t h e r e   i s   s o m e o n e ;   i t ‘ s   n o t   t r u e ,   t h e r e i s n o o n e . . . X i s m e . S h e w h o t o r t u r e s t h e s t o o l p i g e o n i s m e .   S o i s s h e w h o w a n t s t o m a k e l o v e w i t h t h e e n e m y .   B e a t h i m u n t i l h e e j a c u l a t e s h i s t r u t h ,   h i s s h y n e s s ,   h i s f e a r ,  t h e s e c r e t   t h a t   y e s t e r d a y   m a d e   h i m   o m n i p o t e n t ,   i n a c c e s s i b l e ,   u n t o u c h a b l e .   X l o o k s a t t h e f i s t t h a t f a l l s ,   s h e h e a r s t h e g o n g i n g o f t h e b l o w s ,   s h e   f e e l s   f o r   t h e   f i r s t   t i m e   t h a t i n t h e h u m a n b o d y t h e r e a r e d e n s e a r e a s i t ‘ s a l m o s t i m p o s s i b l e t o p e n e t r a t e . L a y e r a f t e r l a y e r o f d e e p t r u t h s t h a t i t i s h a r d t o r e a c h . I t w i l l r e p e a t i t s e l f i n f i n i t e l y , s u f f e r i n g a n d r e l i e f , s u f f e r i n g a n d r e l i e f . . . I m e t m y o w n e y e s . . . I t i s a s i f I h a v e a s y e t o n l y r e g a r d e d t h e w o r l d w i t h h a l f – c l o s e d e y e s . I n t h e i r r e s e r v a t i o n m y s i l e n c e i s y o u r a f f a i r . . . I m u s t p r a c t i s e l i v i n g b e f o r e a n d b e i n g a b l e t o l i v e a f t e r t h e c o n v e r s a t i o n . . . a l l i s m e r g e d . . . u n c e r t a i n t y . . . a n d y e t . . . a f r a g i l e t h r e a d . . . s p u n t h r o u g h a s e q u e n c e o f m o m e n t s . . . w r a p p e d i n t u l l e a n d p e r h a p s c r i n o l i n e . . . s o t h a t o n e c a n n o t d i s t i n g u i s h b e g i n n i n g a n d e n d . . . m e t i c u l o u s l y w o v e n o u t o f i n c i d e n t s ; r e d , w h i t e , y e l l o w a n d b l a c k . . . t h e m o s t d e l i c a t e p a t t e r n . . . a s i n t h e g o w n o f a l a t e b u t t e r f l y o n a p i n . . . t h e b e a r e r o f t h e n a m e i d e n t i t. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .

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Translated from Danish by John Kendal